Jerry, you need to find god
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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