Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
