I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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