420 ftw
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
