I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
