theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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