did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
