Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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