You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
