when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you win again, gameday.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
