im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
