Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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