If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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