my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
