Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize