P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
