Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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