The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
