Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
