I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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