I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
