so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
