if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
