Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
