We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
