Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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