it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Semen is not good for contacts.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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