my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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