My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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