is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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