U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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