Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
