Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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