Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
