I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
