okay pat passed out under dana's car
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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