Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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