You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
