please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
