WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
