Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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