I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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