i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
