It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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