Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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