yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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