Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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