i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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