His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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