Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
