I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize