We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
