people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize