I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
