You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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