So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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