Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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