somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
